Communication can go wrong in so many ways and for so many different reasons that it's a wonder we can exchange any thoughts at all. But somehow, often, we can. And we can do even better if we learn to recognize communication patterns that lead to trouble even though they seem to be useful at first. Because these patterns lead to unwelcome results, they're usually called antipatterns. [Koenig 1995]
This post and two more to come contain elements of one more tool you might add to your toolbox to help untangle miscommunications or — even better — to help prevent them. And to make this exploration manageable, I'll restrict it to time-constrained communication.
The elements of this tool consist of a collection of antipatterns. Quoting Andrew Koenig, who coined the term in the context of software engineering, "An antipattern is just like a pattern, except that instead of a solution it gives something that looks superficially like a solution, but isn't one."
We use many different patterns when we communicate. Among the simplest is what we say when we answer a phone: "Hello". Hello means, roughly, "I'm here and I'm listening; your turn." There are probably thousands of communication patterns. Some work, many don't. The ones that don't work are what we call antipatterns. This post has three examples.
In what follows, I use the name Eugene (E for Expressing) when I'm referring to the person expressing an idea, asking a question, or in some other way contributing new material to an exchange. And I use the name Rachel (R for Receiving) when I'm referring to the person Receiving Eugene's communication. Finally, I assume that both Eugene and Rachel are under time pressure.
With that prolog, here are three antipatterns that increase the risk of miscommunication.
- Too big and too complicated
- Eugene is busy and he knows that Rachel is too, so he tries to pack his message with his questions, insights, talking points, and all the background information he regards as relevant.
- As a Dealing with any subject with too
little time is unlikely to produce
the outcome we wantresult, what Eugene is trying to express is too big, too complicated, or requires too much time compared to the time available. If Rachel and Eugene push ahead anyway, confusion and miscommunication are the probable results. - Dealing with any subject with too little time is unlikely to produce the outcome they want. If Eugene's thoughts need more time, the two partners would do well to solve that problem first, and then address the subject of their conversation. If they can't expand the time available, exchanging messages in more compact packets is the best available alternative.
- Mismatched knowledge stacks
- A person's knowledge stack is the partially ordered collection of terms, experiences, and concepts that are needed to understand a message. For example, when someone asks for your email address, you retrieve it from your knowledge stack and relay it to the requestor. Or when you need to know the local time of day for someone you're planning to engage by phone, you reach into your knowledge stack for that answer or perhaps how to find that answer. Less trivial examples include the meanings of acronyms, or the current assessment of the capabilities of a market rival.
- When we fail to verify that participants in an exchange have compatible knowledge stacks, they might get deep into the exchange before they realize that they aren't using words or concepts in the same way. Then they have to retreat and reconstruct the conversation after they've verified that they're using terms compatibly. And they need to check that everyone's stack is free of gaps and omissions.
- One way to limit the occurrence of this antipattern is to publish and maintain a "terminology and concept glossary."
- Inappropriate focus: the McNamara Fallacy
- The McNamara Fallacy is the discredited idea that one can manage the missions of complex organizations by deriving guidance solely from numeric measurements of inputs and outputs. If these "metrics" are correctly chosen, so says the Fallacy, we can make good decisions based only on these metrics. [Baskin 2014] [Muller 2019] In this way, the Fallacy causes us to confuse Objectivity with Importance. More
- An antipattern in itself, the McNamara Fallacy appears in many contexts beyond communications. In the communications context, the McNamara Fallacy causes the exchange participants to focus attention on the values of one or a few metrics, instead of the process or entity that the metrics supposedly represent.
- For example, if a team is concerned that attendance at meetings is 85% instead of the goal value of 95%, the conversation might focus on percentage overall attendance instead of the fact that on average, all of the "right people" for any given meeting have been attending with regularity.
- By misleading the team with objective-sounding data, the Fallacy can cause a team to focus on related but inessential material instead of material that's central to the team's mission.
Last words
These three causes of miscommunication under time pressure are generic in the sense that they don't depend on message content. Next time I'll examine some patterns that lead to miscommunications in ways that do depend on message content. Next issue in this series Top Next Issue
Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!
Footnotes
Your comments are welcome
Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenyrWpTxHuyCrjZbUpner@ChacnoFNuSyWlVzCaGfooCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.About Point Lookout
Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.
This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.
Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.
Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.
Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.
Related articles
More articles on Effective Communication at Work:
- Exasperation Generators: Opaque Metaphors
- Most people don't mind going to meetings. They don't even mind coming back from them. It's being
in meetings that can be so exasperating. What can we do about this?
- Exasperation Generators: Irrelevant Detail
- When people relate stories at work, what seems important to one person can feel irrelevant to someone
else. Being subjected to one irrelevant detail after another can be as exasperating as being told repeatedly
to get to the point. How can we find a balance?
- Chronic Peer Interrupters: III
- People who habitually interrupt others in meetings must be fairly common, because I'm often asked about
what to do about them. And you can find lots of tips on the Web, too. Some tips work well, some generally
don't. Here are my thoughts about four more.
- Critical Communications
- From time to time, we're responsible for sending critical communications — essential messages
that the intended recipients must have. It's a heavy responsibility that can bear some risk. A strategy
for managing those risks involves three messages.
- They Don't Reply to My Email
- Ever have the experience of sending an email message to someone, asking for information or approval
or whatever, and then waiting for a response that comes only too late? Maybe your correspondent is an
evil loser, but maybe not. Maybe the problem is in your message.
See also Effective Communication at Work and Effective Communication at Work for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
- Coming September 4: Beating the Layoffs: I
- If you work in an organization likely to conduct layoffs soon, keep in mind that exiting voluntarily before the layoffs can carry significant advantages. Here are some that relate to self-esteem, financial anxiety, and future employment. Available here and by RSS on September 4.
- And on September 11: Beating the Layoffs: II
- If you work in an organization likely to conduct layoffs soon, keep in mind that exiting voluntarily can carry advantages. Here are some advantages that relate to collegial relationships, future interviews, health, and severance packages. Available here and by RSS on September 11.
Coaching services
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenyrWpTxHuyCrjZbUpner@ChacnoFNuSyWlVzCaGfooCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
Get the ebook!
Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:
- Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
- Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
- Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
- Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
- Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
- Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )
Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info
Follow Rick
Recommend this issue to a friend
Send an email message to a friend
rbrenyrWpTxHuyCrjZbUpner@ChacnoFNuSyWlVzCaGfooCanyon.comSend a message to Rick
A Tip A Day feed
Point Lookout weekly feed