Bullying by Proxy: I

When we consider workplace bullying, the scenario that comes to mind most readily involves a perpetrator inflicting harm on a target. Compared to the target, the perpetrator usually has greater power, either socially or organizationally or both. The methods employed might be physically violent, but more often they are psychological. They involve tactics such as career damage, humiliation, isolation, threats, resource deprivation, undesirable assignments, or combinations thereof. Or worse.

When the bullying is recognized as bullying (sometimes it isn't), a common response is to wonder why the bully's supervisor lets it persist. Some targets and some witnesses actually intercede by reporting incidents to the bully's supervisor. Sadly, too often, their efforts are in vain. In some cases, the bully has actually bullied his or her own supervisor, who then dares not intervene. But that scenario is one for another post.

The cases of interest for this post and the next are those termed bullying by proxy. In bullying by proxy, the bully's supervisor leads the bully in a conspiracy in which the bully's supervisor plays a largely background role. In these cases, the person we usually regard as the bully is actually a proxy bully — one who bullies on behalf of another. The proxy bully's supervisor, the leader of the conspiracy, is the primary bully.

For clarity, let me define carefully what I mean by workplace bullying and workplace bullying by proxy. Then we can explore in some detail how the conspiracy forms. In the next post, I consider implications for designing and enforcing anti-bullying policies.

Defining bullying and bullying by proxy

Bullying

Workplace bullying is any aggressive behavior, associated with work, and primarily intended to cause physical or psychological harm to others. Workplace bullying need not occur in the workplace (it need not occur "on site"), though it can. It need not involve abuse of power, though it can. It need not be part of a repeated pattern, though it can be. It need not even cause physical or psychological harm to others, though it can. All that's required is that it be aggressive, associated with work, and that it be primarily intended to cause physical or psychological harm.

This definition seems to be at odds with widely accepted definitions. For example, Einarsen, et al., state explicitly that, "…bullying is normally not about single and isolated events, but rather about behaviours that are repeatedly and persistently directed towards one or more employees." [Einarsen, et al., 2020] The widely accepted definitions require that the aggressive behavior be present in a persistent pattern, whereas the above definition has no such requirement. My own experience as a target, and the experiences of clients who have been targets, suggests that persistence of the aggressive behavior is not a defining factor. A single incident can permanently impress on the mind of the target the sense that another incident can occur at any moment.

Moreover, most definitions of bullying focus on the target's perceptions rather than the perpetrator's intentions. The above definition focuses on the perpetrator's intentions, for two reasons. First, the perpetrator is likely to keep trying until the desired results are achieved. Second, even if the perpetrator fails, targets rarely fail to perceive the perpetrator's intentions. Perpetrator intentions are fundamental. They eventually lead to target's perceptions, which are derivative.

From this perspective, the definition above coincides with the widely accepted definition of Einarsen, et al.

Bullying by proxy

In direct bullying — bullying in which there is no proxy — bully and target interact personally with no intermediary. Bullying by proxy differs from direct bullying in that two people conspire in the role of perpetrator. In the workplace form of bullying by proxy, one of the pair, the primary bully, is politically or socially more powerful than the other, who is the proxy bully. Usually, though not always, the primary bully is the supervisor of the proxy bully. The primary bully usually plays a background role in any observable incidents of bullying involving the target. The proxy bully is the one who engages the target in any exchanges observable by others.

There are other terms that apply to bullying by proxy. Vicarious bullying or abetting bullying denote the bullying the primary bully engages in. The proxy bully is sometimes referred to as the secondary bully. [Hollis 2019] [Hollis 2017] I prefer the term proxy bully because a single primary bully might have several proxies.

How primary bullies and proxy bullies find each other

Voluntary proxy bullies

Some proxy bullies would seek out bullying opportunities of their own if their primary bullies hadn't recruited them. These voluntary proxy bullies are likely driven to bullying by the same compulsions that afflict non-proxy bullies. They are compelled to arrange to personally witness the suffering they cause. But as proxy bullies they have an additional motivation. They inflict harm on behalf of the primary bully so as to fulfill the primary bully's need to witness suffering. A common rationalization of this behavior is that the bullying serves as a tool to ensure that their business units meet performance goals. The idea that bullying enhances performance is controversial among researchers, but my unscientific personal observations suggest that it is regarded as a universal truth among those engaged in bullying by proxy.

Some In bullying by proxy, the bully's supervisor
leads the bully in a conspiracy in which the
bully's supervisor plays a largely background roleindependent bullies realize that they can receive protected status if they work as a proxy bully for a primary bully. In these cases, it is often the proxy bully who recruits the primary bully. However, even in these cases, the superior power position of the primary ensures that the primary bully is in control.

Conscripted proxy bullies

If the primary bully recruits the proxy bully, the situation is more complicated. Most often, when the proxy bully is conscripted, he or she has little choice but to accede to the demands of the primary bully. Examples:

• The primary bully coerces the proxy bully using a variety of bullying techniques to compel the proxy bully to abuse the target.
• The primary bully offers (sometimes implicitly) inducements to the candidate proxy bully, in the form of status, emblems of status, desirable assignments, favorable performance assessments, or financial compensation. These inducements become available only if the proxy bully engages the target using methods that satisfy the primary bully. Accompanying the inducements can be a suggestion, explicit or not, that if the candidate declines the "offer" to become a proxy bully, coercion will compel agreement.
• The primary bully subtly directs the proxy bully in ways that enable the primary bully to deny any role in the bullying.

Last words

In the next part of this exploration of bullying by proxy, I consider the fascinating ways in which this form of bullying complicates design and enforcement of anti-bullying policies and procedures.   Next issue in this series   Top    Next Issue

Is a workplace bully targeting you? Do you know what to do to end the bullying? Workplace bullying is so widespread that a 2014 survey indicated that 27% of American workers have experienced bullying firsthand, that 21% have witnessed it, and that 72% are aware that bullying happens. Yet, there are few laws to protect workers from bullies, and bullying is not a crime in most jurisdictions. 101 Tips for Targets of Workplace Bullies is filled with the insights targets of bullying need to find a way to survive, and then to finally end the bullying. Also available at Apple's iTunes store! Just . Order Now!

Footnotes

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Bullying:

When the Chair Is a Bully: I

Most meetings have chairs or "leads." Although the expression that the chair "owns" the meeting is usually innocent shorthand, some chairs actually believe that they own the meeting. This view is almost entirely destructive. What are the consequences of this attitude, and what can we do about it?

Overtalking: I

Overtalking is the practice of using one's own talking to prevent others from talking. It can lead to hurt feelings and toxic conflict. Why does it happen and what can we do about it?

Strategy for Targets of Verbal Abuse

Many targets of verbal abuse at work believe that they have just two strategic options: find a new job, or accept the abuse. In some cases, they're correct. But not always.

We Can 'Moneyball' Bullying

Capturing data about incidents of bullying is helpful in creating awareness of the problem. But it's like trying to drive a car by looking only in the rearview mirror. Forward-looking data that predicts bullying incidents is also necessary.

Gaslighting Project Teams

To gaslight people is to convince them to reject their own observations and believe what you want them to believe. Gaslighting corrupts project management as surely as it destroys romantic relationships. Here are some early indicators of gaslighting.

See also Workplace Bullying and Workplace Bullying for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming April 30: On Planning in Plan-Hostile Environments: II

When we finally execute plans, we encounter obstacles. So we find workarounds or adjust the plans. But there are times when nothing we try gets us back on track. When this happens for nearly every plan, we might be working in a plan-hostile environment. Available here and by RSS on April 30.

And on May 7: Subject Matter Bullying

Most workplace bullying tactics have analogs in the schoolyard — isolation, physical attacks, name-calling, and rumor-mongering are common examples. Subject matter bullying might be an exception, because it requires expertise in a sophisticated knowledge domain. And that's where trouble begins. Available here and by RSS on May 7.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenfHlRlTgqCIXkUHBTner@ChacrEuHRQPYVKkOucGfoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info