
Holding a lighted match, something we've all done. You can hold a lighted match for a time, but eventually, the pain will compel you to do something different.
When a quasi-narcissist is a member of a mandated collaboration, things can work for a time, but eventually the trouble will compel you to make a change. The flame is the quasi-narcissist, and the wood of the match is the collaboration, providing fuel for the flame. Flame and fuel must eventually be separated.
If the title of this post sounds a bit ambiguous, there's a good reason. This post is a step into one of the gray areas of workplace politics, where authority relationships are blurry, and where positive contributions are difficult to distinguish from sabotage. It's a place where the conventional rules governing workplace collaboration aren't clear. And even if the rules were clear, there are questions about whether those rules apply. Perhaps the grayest parts of these gray areas are the regions we enter when interpersonal trouble arises. And one situation that tends to lead to interpersonal trouble involves quasi-narcissistic quasi-subordinates.
Mandated collaborations
One structure that inherently produces quasi-subordinate relationships among collaborators might be termed a mandated collaboration. A mandated collaboration is formed when a piece of work requires the experience, knowledge, and effort of a combination of people who don't customarily collaborate; who have different organizational rank; who have varied and non-overlapping areas of experience and expertise; who have different levels of understanding of the goal of the collaboration; and at least some of whom believe that the object of the collaboration is unworthy of their effort.
Typically, mandated collaborations don't form spontaneously. Management appoints group members, though in some cases the appointing authority does seek volunteers. Lines of organizational authority rarely connect group members, because they're drawn from diverse units of the organization. And in some cases, the "Lead" — the person most responsible for the work — is of organizational rank less than or equal to some of the team members. The term quasi-subordinate describes the organizational relationship between the Lead and the other group members. The Lead has no formal organizational authority over the group members beyond the work of the collaboration.
Problematic group members
The second Mandated collaborations lie in a gray area of
workplace politics, where lines of authority
are blurry, and positive contributions are
difficult to distinguish from sabotageingredient that helps to produce interpersonal trouble is the problematic group member. These folks come in great variety, but the quasi-narcissist is of particular interest. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is an actual medical diagnosis, but we all exhibit narcissistic traits from time to time. Narcissism is a spectrum; it's a condition that we find in degrees. I'll use the term quasi-narcissist to denote a level of the condition that's somewhat beyond what we find in most of us, but significantly milder than we find in NPD.
Consider the following example scenario illustrating problematic behavior in a mandated collaboration.
Paula has been designated Lead for a proof-of-concept study of a new product idea. David has been assigned to assist Paula with the many administrative tasks and "what-if" models that Sonya, the project sponsor, expects will be required during the six-month effort. David and Paula are of equal rank, but David is less experienced than Paula with this particular kind of work.
David enjoys the what-if parts of his assignment, because they involve guiding a small team in the use of a technology David wants to learn more about. But David doesn't enjoy the more administrative parts of his assignment. So he has adopted a pattern of foot-dragging with respect to the administrative work, while suggesting to Sonya many new ideas and experiments to perform.
David's conversations with Sonya are clearly out of bounds; he should offer his ideas to Paula and let her decide whether to take them to Sonya. But David feels that his talents are "wasted" in that role and he has decided to adjust the scope of his assignment to a configuration more to his liking.
This scenario clearly involves a mandated collaboration — one in which the lines of authority between Paula and David run contrary to their past experiences. With respect to this project, David is Paula's subordinate. But in the organization formally, he is not. He intentionally departs from the conventional communications customs by directly working with Sonya. And so in multiple ways, David is acting as a quasi-subordinate, enabled by the realities of the mandated collaboration.
Moreover, David has decided to adjust his own job responsibilities. He feels strongly enough about his own talents and importance that he can take action on his own to make adjustments, rather than expressing his desires to Paula to seek an accommodation that might work for them both. He has a personal goal regarding a new technology, and finds a way to motivate Sonya to help him achieve that goal, even though he knows that Sonya would be violating organizational norms in doing so. All of these actions are consistent with the definitions of narcissistic behavior, though the behaviors in question are far from adequate to make a diagnosis of NPD. Arrogant, yes. Self-serving, yes. But not NPD. I call them quasi-narcissistic.
A brief review of NPD in the workplace is available in a series of posts from 2018. Below is a list of the nine indicators of NPD-related behavior. They can serve as indicators of quasi-narcissistic behavior.
- Expresses exaggerated self-importance
- Preoccupied with superiority fantasies
- Believes that he or she is special
- Constantly demands attention and admiration from others
- Expects and demands favorable treatment
- Exploits others for personal ends
- Displays ruthless disregard for the feelings of others
- Envies others or believes that others envy him or her
- Is Off-the-charts arrogant
Last words
Mandated collaborations, with their poorly defined lines of authority, can be fertile ground for quasi-narcissistic behavior. To limit the risk of interpersonal trouble, limit the participation in mandated collaborations of those people most inclined to exhibit quasi-narcissistic behavior.
That seems obvious. Why, then, do we find so many mandated collaborations with quasi-narcissistic members among their people? One possibility is that the managers who create these collaborations are unaware of the risks. Another is that they don't know what else to do with the troublesome quasi-narcissists. Or perhaps they object to the mission of the collaboration, but can't find any other way to stop it. Possible explanations abound. Top
Next Issue
Is every other day a tense, anxious, angry misery as you watch people around you, who couldn't even think their way through a game of Jacks, win at workplace politics and steal the credit and glory for just about everyone's best work including yours? Read 303 Secrets of Workplace Politics, filled with tips and techniques for succeeding in workplace politics. More info
Your comments are welcome
Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenfHlRlTgqCIXkUHBTner@ChacrEuHRQPYVKkOucGfoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.About Point Lookout
Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and
found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.
This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.
Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.
Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.
Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.
Related articles
More articles on Conflict Management:
When You Can't Even Think About It
- Some problems are so difficult or scary that we can't even think about how to face them. Until we can
think, action is not a good idea. How can we engage our brains for the really scary problems?
Managing Pressure: Milestones and Deliveries
- Pressed repeatedly for "status" reports, you might guess that they don't want status —
they want progress. Things can get so nutty that responding to the status requests gets in the way of
doing the job. How does this happen and what can you do about it? Here's Part III of a set of tactics
and strategies for dealing with pressure.
Grace Under Fire: I
- If you're ever in a tight spot in a meeting, one in which you must defend your actions or past decisions,
the soundness of your arguments can matter less than your demeanor. What can you do when someone intends
to make you "lose it?"
Conversation Irritants: I
- Conversations at work can be frustrating even when everyone tries to be polite, clear, and unambiguous.
But some people actually try to be nasty, unclear, and ambiguous. Here's Part I of a small collection
of their techniques.
Conversation Irritants: II
- Workplace conversation is difficult enough, because of stress, time pressure, and the complexity of
our discussions. But it's even more vexing when people actually try to be nasty, unclear, and ambiguous.
Here's Part II of a small collection of their techniques.
See also Conflict Management and Conflict Management for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
Coming April 30: On Planning in Plan-Hostile Environments: II
- When we finally execute plans, we encounter obstacles. So we find workarounds or adjust the plans. But there are times when nothing we try gets us back on track. When this happens for nearly every plan, we might be working in a plan-hostile environment. Available here and by RSS on April 30.
And on May 7: Subject Matter Bullying
- Most workplace bullying tactics have analogs in the schoolyard — isolation, physical attacks, name-calling, and rumor-mongering are common examples. Subject matter bullying might be an exception, because it requires expertise in a sophisticated knowledge domain. And that's where trouble begins. Available here and by RSS on May 7.
Coaching services
I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenfHlRlTgqCIXkUHBTner@ChacrEuHRQPYVKkOucGfoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.
Get the ebook!
Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:
- Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
- Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
- Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
- Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
- Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
- Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )
Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info
Follow Rick
Recommend this issue to a friend
Send an email message to a friend
rbrenfHlRlTgqCIXkUHBTner@ChacrEuHRQPYVKkOucGfoCanyon.comSend a message to Rick
A Tip A Day feed
Point Lookout weekly feed
