Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 14, Issue 34;   August 20, 2014: You Can't Control What Other People Think

You Can't Control What Other People Think

by

Ever think that the world would be a much better place if you could control what other people think? Maybe it would be. And maybe not...
A rescue puppy

A rescue dog being rescued.

Maybe you've never thought this, but many people have: "The World would be a better place if only people would think like I do." Rarely is this a useful thought. You can influence others, once in a while, maybe. But you can't control what other people think. The evidence is overwhelming.

In a world where people can control what other people think:

  • …there will be only one brand of toothpaste, and we'll all like it
  • …meetings will be much shorter because we'll always agree about everything and we'll all arrive on time
  • …there will be no divorce lawyers, because there will be no divorces
  • …there will be a broccoli shortage because the broccoli people will figure out how to make everyone like it
  • …there will be no need for war, bullies, editorials, elections, cosmetics, or advertising. Hmmm. Sounds pretty good.
  • …we'll be able to control what we ourselves think (I don't know about you, but I can't do that now)
  • …we won't lose as many arguments because everyone will have the same opinion
  • …we won't have to dress to impress anyone else, because we'll figure out other ways to impress them that don't involve dry cleaning
  • …there will be no salespeople because everyone with something to sell will know how to make us want it
  • …we won't have to say You can't control what other
    people think. The evidence
    is overwhelming.
    no to anyone because we'll know how to force them to withdraw their requests or not make them in the first place
  • …we'll be able to trust everyone
  • …our supervisors will love everything we do
  • …the people we supervise will love doing whatever we ask them to do
  • …all projects will have the resources and time their people think they need (but they will still be wrong by 100%)
  • …cable news programs will still be bad, but instead of their guests yelling at each other, they will all agree with each other
  • …children will rule the world
  • …no, never mind, dogs will rule the world
  • …lying will actually work
  • …performance reviews will all be "exceeds expectations"
  • …raises will still be low, but we'll think they're fine
  • …employers won't provide paid vacation time, because we'll all be perfectly happy working 52 weeks
  • …everyone will be patriotic in ways we approve of
  • …there will be no new ideas because everyone will think, "Hey, I thought of that, too"
  • …we'll all be wrong at exactly the same time, in exactly the same way
  • …there will be only one country
  • …people will probably still argue about religion (some things never change)

So, are you convinced that you can't control what other people think? No? Well, I can't control what you think. Go to top Top  Next issue: Deep Trouble and Getting Deeper  Next Issue

303 Secrets of Workplace PoliticsIs every other day a tense, anxious, angry misery as you watch people around you, who couldn't even think their way through a game of Jacks, win at workplace politics and steal the credit and glory for just about everyone's best work including yours? Read 303 Secrets of Workplace Politics, filled with tips and techniques for succeeding in workplace politics. More info

Your comments are welcome

Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenjTnUayrCbSnnEcYfner@ChacdcYpBKAaMJgMalFXoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.

About Point Lookout

This article in its entirety was written by a 
          human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Politics:

Male Red-Winged Blackbird displaying during breeding seasonOn Noticing
What we fail to notice about any situation — and what we do notice that isn't really there — can be the difference between the outcomes we fear, the outcomes we seek, and the outcomes that exceed our dreams. How can we improve our ability to notice?
William Tecumseh Sherman as a major general in May 1865On Badly Written Email
Even those who aren't great writers do occasionally write clearly, just by chance. But there are some who consistently produce unintelligible email messages. Why does this happen?
An inflatable aircraft of the U.S. Ghost Army in World War IIActive Deceptions at Work
Among the vast family of workplace deceptions, those that involve presenting fiction as reality are among the most exasperating, because we sometimes feel fooled or gullible. Lies are the simplest example of this type, but there are others, and some are fiendishly clever.
Brian Urquhart of the Office of the UN Under-Secretaries Without Porfolios. (1 January 1956)Staying in Abilene
A "Trip to Abilene," identified by Jerry Harvey, is a group decision to undertake an effort that no group members believe in. Extending the concept slightly, "Staying in Abilene" happens when groups fail even to consider changing something that everyone would agree needs changing.
A forest fireCultural Indicators of Political Risk
Because of fire risk, hiking in dry forests during dry seasons can be dangerous. In the forest, we stay safe from fire if we attend to the indicators of fire risk. In the workplace, do you know the indicators of political risk?

See also Workplace Politics and Workplace Politics for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

A diagram of the cross section of a boat with a single water ballast tank at the bottomComing January 22: Storming: Obstacle or Pathway?
The Storming stage of Tuckman's model of small group development is widely misunderstood. Fighting the storms, denying they exist, or bypassing them doesn't work. Letting them blow themselves out in a somewhat-controlled manner is the path to Norming and Performing. Available here and by RSS on January 22.
The Eisenhower Matrix of Urgency by ImportanceAnd on January 29: A Framework for Safe Storming
The Storming stage of Tuckman's development sequence for small groups is when the group explores its frustrations and degrees of disagreement about both structure and task. Only by understanding these misalignments is reaching alignment possible. Here is a framework for this exploration. Available here and by RSS on January 29.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenjTnUayrCbSnnEcYfner@ChacdcYpBKAaMJgMalFXoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

Reprinting this article

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Follow Rick

Send email or subscribe to one of my newsletters Follow me at LinkedIn Follow me at X, or share a post Subscribe to RSS feeds Subscribe to RSS feeds
Please donate!The message of Point Lookout is unique. Help get the message out. Please donate to help keep Point Lookout available for free to everyone.
Technical Debt for Policymakers BlogMy blog, Technical Debt for Policymakers, offers resources, insights, and conversations of interest to policymakers who are concerned with managing technical debt within their organizations. Get the millstone of technical debt off the neck of your organization!

Beware any resource that speaks of "winning" at workplace politics or "defeating" it. You can benefit or not, but there is no score-keeping, and it isn't a game.

303 Secrets of Workplace PoliticsIs every other day a tense, anxious, angry misery as you watch people around you, who couldn't even think their way through a game of Jacks, win at workplace politics and steal the credit and glory for just about everyone's best work including yours? Read 303 Secrets of Workplace Politics!
303 Tips for Virtual and Global TeamsLearn how to make your virtual global team sing.
My free weekly email newsletter gives concrete tips and suggestions for dealing with the challenging but everyday situations we all face.
A Tip A DayA Tip a Day arrives by email, or by RSS Feed, each business day. It's 20 to 30 words at most, and gives you a new perspective on the hassles and rewards of work life. Most tips also contain links to related articles. Free!
101 Tips for Effective MeetingsLearn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare.
Exchange your "personal trade secrets" — the tips, tricks and techniques that make you an ace — with other aces, anonymously. Visit the Library of Personal Trade Secrets.
If your teams don't yet consistently achieve state-of-the-art teamwork, check out this catalog. Help is just a few clicks/taps away!
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.