
Ralph Waldo Emerson in 1846, in a charcoal portrait by artist Eastman Johnson. Emerson was long a mentor to the younger Henry David Thoreau. While Thoreau was living at Walden Pond, from July, 1845 through September, 1847, he completed work on the first draft of what would be his first book, A Week on the Concord and Merrimac Rivers. In a November 14, 1847, letter to Emerson, Thoreau reports on his lack of progress in securing a publisher, and his indifference to pursuing the matter further. Emerson, in Manchester, England, at the time, replied on December 2 that the book would be of interest to many, and advised Thoreau to self-publish it "at once." Emerson's advice can be viewed as a critique of Thoreau's publishing plans, given privately, and with honest respect. Thoreau accepted Emerson's well-intentioned but quite mistaken advice, leading to a mountain of debt, and Thoreau's now-famous quip, "I have now a library of nearly nine hundred volumes, over seven hundred of which I wrote myself."
Not all criticism is valid, even when the giver is more experienced, an acknowledged expert, and widely respected.
The portrait is part of the personal collection of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, courtesy Wikipedia.
In Part I of this exploration of criticism, we explored guidelines for criticism that arise from considering the needs and responses of giver and receiver. In this Part II, we explore the content of criticism messages, and the settings in which we deliver those messages.
- Style is part of content
- For criticism, delivery style is part of content, because we experience style as part of the message — and that's often the intention of the giver. Word choice, voice tone, gestures, and posture all contribute to style. A hostile, attacking style invites rejection of the message and possible retaliation.
- Choose a style that's respectful, humble, and kind. Instead of coercing the receiver, invite the receiver to engage in joint exploration.
- Focus on actions or beliefs
- When the content of the criticism includes an evaluation of the receiver as a person, rather than the receiver's actions or beliefs, the receiver can experience pain. Receivers cannot change who they are; they can only change beliefs or make different choices in the future. Criticizing someone as a person invites retaliation and degrades relationships.
- Strive for clarity about the consequences of actions and beliefs. Focus on mutual understanding of those consequences. Once consequences are clear, the receiver can make better-informed choices in the future.
- Understand the root cause
- If the cause of the problem lies outside the realm of individual choice, criticizing the choices of individuals won't help. Very little good comes of offering criticism of actions or beliefs to someone who was operating well within organizational norms.
- Be certain that you understand the root cause of the problem. If what you have to say applies to many people, consider the possibility that the system is the cause, rather than the people in it. Consider individual interventions only after you eliminate systemic causes.
- Seek a private setting
- Public If the message for the receiver
could apply equally to others
as well, the receiver can
feel persecuted and
unfairly attackedcriticism can humiliate receivers. Humiliation limits the receiver's ability to calmly consider the message, which is a prerequisite for change. Whether humiliation is a goal or a tactic, rethink the entire endeavor. - Privacy is essential. If privacy is rare in the ordinary course of events, do something extraordinary to obtain privacy.
- Be equitable
- If the message for the receiver could apply equally to others as well, the receiver can feel persecuted and unfairly attacked. Focusing on just one individual, even to provide an example to others, rarely works.
- People are free to talk with each other. If two people carry out similar actions, and you're reluctant to offer criticism to one, consider carefully before offering it to the other.
Criticizing is itself an action. If criticizing degrades the relationship between giver and receiver, or degrades other relationships, or propagates dissension with little benefit of any kind, its value is questionable — and open to criticism. First issue in this series
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Related articles
More articles on Conflict Management:
Stonewalling: I
- Stonewalling is a tactic of obstruction used by those who wish to stall the forward progress of some
effort. Whether the effort is a rival project, an investigation, or just the work of a colleague, the
stonewaller hopes to gain advantage. What can you do about stonewalling?
Workplace Bullying and Workplace Conflict: II
- Of the tools we use to address toxic conflict, many are ineffective for ending bullying. Here's a review
of some of the tools that don't work well and why.
Overtalking: III
- Overtalking other people is a practice that can be costly to organizations, even though it might confer
short-term benefits on the people who engage in it. If you find that you are one who overtalks others,
what can you do about it?
Compulsive Talkers at Work: Peers II
- Our exploration of approaches for dealing with compulsive talkers now concludes, with Part II of a set
of suggestions for what to do when peers who talk compulsively interfere with your work.
Conversation Irritants: I
- Conversations at work can be frustrating even when everyone tries to be polite, clear, and unambiguous.
But some people actually try to be nasty, unclear, and ambiguous. Here's Part I of a small collection
of their techniques.
See also Conflict Management and Conflict Management for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
Coming March 19: On Lying by Omission
- Of the many devious strategies of workplace politics, deception is among the most commonly used. And perhaps the most commonly used tactic of deception is lying. Since getting caught in a lie can be costly, people try to lie without lying. Available here and by RSS on March 19.
And on March 26: Seven Ways to Support Word-of-Mouth About Your Content
- Whether you're making a presentation or writing an article or a book, making your material more memorable is a desirable objective. After the talk, or after the reader sets down your work, what you have to offer will be accessible only if the auditor or reader remembers something about it. Available here and by RSS on March 26.
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