Point Lookout: a free weekly publication of Chaco Canyon Consulting
Volume 3, Issue 15;   April 9, 2003: Conflict Haiku

Conflict Haiku

by

When tempers flare, or tension fills the air, many of us contribute to the stew, often without realizing that we do. Here are some haiku that describe some of the many stances we choose that can lead groups into tangles, or let those tangles persist once they form.

Here are some haiku to contemplate when you find yourself in the midst of difficult, uncomfortable, tense situations at work. Read them slowly. Notice how you feel about each one.

i

Whenever I try
to see things the way you do,
fear overcomes me.

ii

I will obey you.
Whatever you say is right.
The org chart says so.

iii

Disagreeing with
everyone else about this,
I must be confused.

iv

When the yelling starts
and people blame each other,
I flee for safety.

v

You don't understand
the complexities we face.
That's why I'm yelling.

vi

When compromise fails,
I strengthen my position
by finding allies.

vii

When we don't agree,
I try everything I know
to bring you around.

viii

When I ask myself,
"Why can't we all get along?"
the answer is them.

ix

We get in trouble
whenever we're together.
Why don't you shape up?

x

It would be better
for us all if only you
wouldn't question me.

xi

My approach to this
is clearly better than yours.
Why can't you see that?

xii

She does what she wants,
when she's ready to do it.
I must tell her boss.

xiii

Whenever I hear
an offer so generous
it just can't be true.

xiv

Things look very bleak.
We may never resolve this.
Tell me what's for lunch.

xv

We warned them again,
and they tried it anyway.
Now it's their problem.

xvi

I'll never forget
the pain you caused me back then.
And now you will pay.

xvii

I might hurt myself
by trying to destroy you,
but you deserve it.

xviii

She is pure evil.
We must do all we can do
to keep her contained.

xix

Listening to you
explain the way you see things
would make me seem weak.

xx

If you respect me
you'll agree with me on this.
If you don't — you don't.

xxi

You remind me of
someone who once did me wrong.
I see him not you.

xxii

I want what I want.
What you want does not matter.
Just do as I say.

xxiii

I am everything.
Everyone must bow to me.
Especially you.

xxiv

I must divide you,
because you both threaten me.
Dividing, I conquer.

xxv

She saved us last year.
Whatever she says is true.
We follow her lead.

xxvi

If you say we can,
success is a certainty.
We believe in you.

xxvii

He rarely attends
but we schedule it for him
in case he breaks free.

xxviii

Whatever you say,
however you insult me,
I always stay cool.

xxix

He hasn't a clue
how impossible that is,
but we must do it.

Writing haiku can be a relaxing, meditative exercise. The act can clear your mind. Try it. More about haiku Go to top Top  Next issue: Games for Meetings: IV  Next Issue

101 Tips for Managing Conflict Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!

Reader Comments

Naomi Karten (www.nkarten.com)
Haiku that describe
Communication stances —
What a great idea!

Your comments are welcome

Would you like to see your comments posted here? rbrenfHlRlTgqCIXkUHBTner@ChacrEuHRQPYVKkOucGfoCanyon.comSend me your comments by email, or by Web form.

About Point Lookout

This article in its entirety was written by a 
          human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Emotions at Work:

A shouting matchAvoid Typing Under the Influence
When we communicate, we can't control how other people interpret our communications. Accidental offense is inevitable, and email is especially likely to produce examples of this problem. What can we do as members of electronic communities when trouble erupts?
Cheese and crackersWhen Naming Hurts
One of our great strengths as Humans is our ability to name things. Naming empowers us by helping us think about and communicate complex ideas. But naming has a dark side, too. We use naming to oversimplify, to denigrate, to disempower, and even to dehumanize. When we abuse this tool, we hurt our companies, our colleagues, and ourselves.
CongruenceCoping with Problems
How we cope with problems is a choice. When we choose our coping style, we help determine our ability to address the problems we face. Of eight styles we can identify, only one is universally constructive, and we rarely use it.
Three Card Monte, Jaffa, IsraelFooling Ourselves
Humans have impressive abilities to convince themselves of things that are false. One explanation for this behavior is the theory of cognitive dissonance.
A knot known as the Flemish BendHelp for Finding Help
When we find ourselves at a loss for finding a good path forward, and we feel overwhelmed by events, support can make things easier. But seeking support is difficult for some. Why is that?

See also Emotions at Work and Emotions at Work for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Someone got the wrong information about which sneakers to wear on which feetComing April 30: On Planning in Plan-Hostile Environments: II
When we finally execute plans, we encounter obstacles. So we find workarounds or adjust the plans. But there are times when nothing we try gets us back on track. When this happens for nearly every plan, we might be working in a plan-hostile environment. Available here and by RSS on April 30.
A dramatization of a mobbing incidentAnd on May 7: Subject Matter Bullying
Most workplace bullying tactics have analogs in the schoolyard — isolation, physical attacks, name-calling, and rumor-mongering are common examples. Subject matter bullying might be an exception, because it requires expertise in a sophisticated knowledge domain. And that's where trouble begins. Available here and by RSS on May 7.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenfHlRlTgqCIXkUHBTner@ChacrEuHRQPYVKkOucGfoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

Reprinting this article

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info

Follow Rick

Send email or subscribe to one of my newsletters Follow me at LinkedIn Follow me at Bluesky, or share a post Subscribe to RSS feeds Subscribe to RSS feeds
The message of Point Lookout is unique. Help get the message out. Please donate to help keep Point Lookout available for free to everyone.
Technical Debt for Policymakers BlogMy blog, Technical Debt for Policymakers, offers resources, insights, and conversations of interest to policymakers who are concerned with managing technical debt within their organizations. Get the millstone of technical debt off the neck of your organization!
101 Tips for Managing ConflictFed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you the target of a bully? Learn how to make peace with conflict.
52 Tips for Leaders of Project-Oriented OrganizationsAre your project teams plagued by turnover, burnout, and high defect rates? Turn your culture around.
303 Secrets of Workplace PoliticsIs every other day a tense, anxious, angry misery as you watch people around you, who couldn't even think their way through a game of Jacks, win at workplace politics and steal the credit and glory for just about everyone's best work including yours? Read 303 Secrets of Workplace Politics!
Terrific Technical Presentations!Audiences at technical presentations, more than most, are at risk of death by dullness. Spare your audiences! Captivate them. Create and deliver technical presentations with elegance, power and suspense.
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.
Comprehensive collection of all e-books and e-bookletsSave a bundle and even more important save time! Order the Combo Package and download all ebooks and tips books at once.
Go For It: Sometimes It's Easier If You RunBad boss, long commute, troubling ethical questions, hateful colleague? Learn what we can do when we love the work but not the job.
101 Tips for Effective MeetingsLearn how to make meetings more productive — and more rare.
Ebooks, booklets and tip books on project management, conflict, writing email, effective meetings and more.
Comprehensive collection of all e-books and e-bookletsSave a bundle and even more important save time! Order the Combo Package and download all ebooks and tips books at once.
If your teams don't yet consistently achieve state-of-the-art teamwork, check out this catalog. Help is just a few clicks/taps away!