Interacting together harmoniously with others at work, day after day, is easier if we let the people we work with know something about us. Something, but obviously, not everything. There are boundaries, and those boundaries are not the same for everyone. Boundaries are personal. For example, if your work group has a happy-birthday-cupcake custom, everyone who is willing to disclose their birthday date is honored with a birthday cupcake bearing a single candle, and a bunch of folks singing a happy birthday tune. Most people are comfortable disclosing their birthdays. In a workplace that has such a custom, disclosing your birthday makes for fun for all.

The Bill of Rights — the first ten amendments to the U.S. Constitution. Passed by Congress on September 25, 1789, and later ratified by the States. The Bill of Rights specifies a number of political freedoms, many of which overlap with Virginia Satir's Five Freedoms. Many thinkers have proposed enumerations of freedoms for various contexts. Search for "bill of rights" to find some of them. Photo courtesy U.S. National Archives.
Boundaries Sometimes, only after a personal boundary
is violated do we realize a boundary was thereare personal. At times, we can feel pressure to permit violation of our personal boundaries. And sometimes, only after a personal boundary is violated do we realize a boundary was there. Knowing the hows and whys of your own personal boundaries is a lifetime project.
Fortunately, there is a framework that's helpful for discovering personal boundaries: what Virginia Satir called our "Five Freedoms." [Satir 1991]
The Five Freedoms of Virginia Satir
Satir expressed these five freedoms succinctly as follows below. Following each freedom, quoted in her words, I offer my own interpretation of its connection to personal boundaries. For concreteness, I use examples from a typical knowledge-work project setting.
- "The freedom to see and hear what is here, instead of what should be, was or will be."
- A senior manager (S) insists that the deadline for our project is tight but achievable. Actually it will require outrageous sacrifices of personal time over the next three months, and cancelling planned vacations. By insisting that the deadline is achievable, S is infringing my freedom to see and hear what is here, thereby violating a boundary that's part of my birthright as a human.
- "The freedom to say what one feels and thinks, instead of what one should."
- One of my teammates (T) has objected to the killing hours that will be required to meet S's impossibly tight deadline. When S (a senior manager) attacks T and then reassigns T to unpleasant duty, S is trying to control what we on the team say about what we feel or think about the schedule. S is violating a boundary that's part of my birthright as a human.
- "The freedom to feel what one feels, instead of what one should."
- After T (one of my teammates) was punished and reassigned, the atmosphere among the remaining team members was decidedly sad and fearful. S called me to his office for a "chat." When S insisted that I was "too sensitive, and I had better grow a thicker hide," S was trying to control whether I have feelings about the way T was treated. S was violating a boundary that's part of my birthright as a human.
- "The freedom to ask for what one wants, instead of always waiting for permission."
- When I struggle to meet the deadline using only the resources and time offered by S, I'm allowing S to infringe my freedom to ask for what I want. In that way I'm allowing S to violate a boundary that's part of my birthright as a human.
- "The freedom to take risks in one's own behalf, instead of choosing to be only 'secure' and not rocking the boat."
- I work hard to meet S's deadline, even though I've thought of another objective that would benefit the organization far more and much sooner. When I withhold my idea because I fear the possible consequences of offending S by putting my idea forward, I'm failing to take a risk on my own behalf. By allowing S to infringe my freedom to take such risks, I'm accepting a violation of a boundary that's part of my birthright as a human.
Last words
These five examples are everyday illustrations of Satir's deep truths about freedoms we all have just because we are people. She called them freedoms, but many view them from a slightly different angle as personal boundaries. My own preference is to call them freedoms. The term boundary evokes constraint, while the term freedom evokes liberty. Top
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Footnotes
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Related articles
More articles on Workplace Politics:
Workplace Politics Is Not a Game
- We often think about "playing the game" — either with relish or repugnance. Whatever
your level of skill or interest, you'll do better if you see workplace politics as it is. It is not a game.
When Leaders Fight
- Organizations often pretend that feuds between leaders do not exist. But when the two most powerful
people in your organization go head-to-head, everyone in the organization suffers. How can you survive
a feud between people above you in the org chart?
Ten Tactics for Tough Times: I
- When you find yourself in a tough spot politically, what can you do? Most of us obsess about the situation
for a while, and then if we still have time to act, we do what seems best. Here's Part I of a set of
approaches that can organize your thinking and shorten the obsessing.
Devious Political Tactics: Mis- and Disinformation
- Practitioners of workplace politics intent on gaining unfair advantage sometimes use misinformation,
disinformation, and other information-related tactics. Here's a short catalog of techniques to watch for.
The Power and Hazards of Anecdotes: I
- Anecdotes are short stories — sometimes just a single sentence. They're powerful tools of persuasion,
but they can also be dangerous, to both anecdote tellers and anecdote listeners.
See also Workplace Politics and Workplace Politics for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
Coming March 19: On Lying by Omission
- Of the many devious strategies of workplace politics, deception is among the most commonly used. And perhaps the most commonly used tactic of deception is lying. Since getting caught in a lie can be costly, people try to lie without lying. Available here and by RSS on March 19.
And on March 26: Seven Ways to Support Word-of-Mouth About Your Content
- Whether you're making a presentation or writing an article or a book, making your material more memorable is a desirable objective. After the talk, or after the reader sets down your work, what you have to offer will be accessible only if the auditor or reader remembers something about it. Available here and by RSS on March 26.
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