Recapping One-on-One Meetings

You've just "met" with a colleague — I'll call him Ian — to resolve an ongoing disagreement about resource allocations. I say met in quotes because you didn't actually meet face-to-face. It was at the end of a videoconference you both attended, and you and Ian stayed on after everyone else left. The two of you agreed that Ian's needs could wait for two weeks, and you could then have the access you needed through the end of the month. You also agreed on a process for resolving future conflicts using a framework you just now agreed to. The framework is a bit complicated, because it has several conditions that define relative priorities, but it should work.

You just hope that Ian understands the agreement the same way you do, and that he'll hold to it. If he does, it should work. But the operative word is if. You guess you'll just have to wait and see.

And that's the thing. You can do better than waiting and seeing — much better — by sending Ian an email message recapping the results of your non-meeting meeting. In that way you can dramatically improve the chances of your new agreement fulfilling its promise. Email recaps can help if the situation meets three conditions:

• The agreement is reasonably supportive of both parties to the agreement
• Both parties have at least a minimum of integrity
• The email recap fairly represents the transaction

This post explains how to construct email recaps, and how to use them in situations like the one above to strengthen agreements and make them more durable.

What an email recap is

A recap A recap is a short email message that summarizes
the main points of a conversation that has just
occurred. It's usually written immediately
after the conversation ends.is a short email message that summarizes the main points of a conversation that has just occurred. It's usually written immediately after the conversation ends, by only one of the participants in that conversation. It doesn't cover every detail of the conversation, because it's written as a high-level summary. It's complete enough so that both participants would agree that the major points of the conversation are all included in the recap.

Keep in mind that the primary purpose of the email recap is to record the broad strokes of the agreement in one place for future reference. It's a tool for quickly resolving — or even better, for preventing — future disputes. From time to time, we might amend our agreement, but the recap message says, "Here's what we agree to at this point."

Why sending a recap message is a good idea

Here are some examples of benefits of sending an email recap message to the person you just reached agreement with. I'll continue to refer to that person as Ian, and I'll refer to the content of the agreement as X.

• If you and Ian have different understandings of X, the email recap makes obvious the need for more conversation.
• Composing the email recap helps clarify X in your own mind.
• In composing the email recap you might realize some important points that eluded you until now.
• The email recap can be a useful resource in a future dispute with Ian if you later want to recall what X was.

Have a well-crafted subject line

Since an email recap is an email message, it will end up in your recipient's mailbox. Using a simple, intuitive format for its subject line will simplify finding it again, when it's needed. Examples:

• Recap of our conversation about X
• Summary of our agreement about X
• Summary of the framework we just adopted for X

Whatever format you use for subject lines for email recaps, be sure to use it for all email recaps. That makes them easy to find and easy to write a filter for.

Risks of sending a recap message

Sending email recaps is not without risk. Ian might think that because you don't trust him, you felt it was necessary to send an email recap. There are two cases of interest with respect to this risk.

Your relationship with Ian is in serious trouble

In this case, the risk that Ian might feel distrusted is significant. It might be better not to send Ian an email recap. But you can still send one to yourself, just to make a record for your own use.

You and Ian are working together just barely well enough

In this case, consider sending a recap only to yourself, as a record. The risk of offending Ian might outweigh the benefit of a recap.

A respectful, humble tone is your risk mitigation strategy. Be sure to ask Ian to let you know if any amendments are needed. Expect Ian to offer some minor amendments, or to set you straight on anything you might have missed.

What to avoid

Be careful not to project a tone that implies that your own recollection is absolutely correct and definitive. On the other hand, also avoid expressing doubts about important elements of the agreement. For example, asking Ian directly for missing bits of information isn't advisable. To do so would cast doubt on the rest of your recap.

Last words

Acknowledge possible misunderstandings on your part. Here are some key phrases that help to express that acknowledgement.

• As I understand the outcome of our conversation just now
• Here's my recollection of what we just agreed to
• Let me know whether or not this fits your recollection
• Of course I could be mistaken
• Maybe you recall it differently, but here's what I think we said
• I believe we decided to defer on X for the time being
• I believe we decided to leave X open until Y is set

If you've never written an email recap, practice with this post. Send yourself an email message recapping the major points of this post.  Top    Next Issue

Are you fed up with tense, explosive meetings? Are you or a colleague the target of a bully? Destructive conflict can ruin organizations. But if we believe that all conflict is destructive, and that we can somehow eliminate conflict, or that conflict is an enemy of productivity, then we're in conflict with Conflict itself. Read 101 Tips for Managing Conflict to learn how to make peace with conflict and make it an organizational asset. Order Now!

Your comments are welcome

About Point Lookout

Thank you for reading this article. I hope you enjoyed it and found it useful, and that you'll consider recommending it to a friend.

This article in its entirety was written by a human being. No machine intelligence was involved in any way.

Point Lookout is a free weekly email newsletter. Browse the archive of past issues. Subscribe for free.

Support Point Lookout by joining the Friends of Point Lookout, as an individual or as an organization.

Do you face a complex interpersonal situation? Send it in, anonymously if you like, and I'll give you my two cents.

Related articles

More articles on Workplace Politics:

Empire Building

Empire builders create bases of power within the larger organization. Typically, they use these domains to advance personal or provincial agendas. What are the characteristics of empires? How can we navigate through or around them?

Snares at Work

Stuck in uncomfortable situations, we tend to think of ourselves as trapped. But sometimes it is our own actions that keep us stuck. Understanding how these traps work is the first step to learning how to deal with them.

How to Stop Being Overworked: II

Although many of us are overloaded as a result of our own choices, some are overloaded by abusive supervisors. If you find yourself in that situation, what can you do?

Obstacles to Finding the Reasons Why

When we investigate what went wrong, we sometimes encounter obstacles. Interviewing witnesses and participants doesn't always uncover the reasons why. What are these obstacles?

Deep Trouble and Getting Deeper

Here's a catalog of actions people take when the projects they're leading are in deep trouble, and they're pretty sure there's no way out.

See also Workplace Politics and Workplace Politics for more related articles.

Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout

Coming January 22: Storming: Obstacle or Pathway?

The Storming stage of Tuckman's model of small group development is widely misunderstood. Fighting the storms, denying they exist, or bypassing them doesn't work. Letting them blow themselves out in a somewhat-controlled manner is the path to Norming and Performing. Available here and by RSS on January 22.

And on January 29: A Framework for Safe Storming

The Storming stage of Tuckman's development sequence for small groups is when the group explores its frustrations and degrees of disagreement about both structure and task. Only by understanding these misalignments is reaching alignment possible. Here is a framework for this exploration. Available here and by RSS on January 29.

Coaching services

I offer email and telephone coaching at both corporate and individual rates. Contact Rick for details at rbrenjTnUayrCbSnnEcYfner@ChacdcYpBKAaMJgMalFXoCanyon.com or (650) 787-6475, or toll-free in the continental US at (866) 378-5470.

Get the ebook!

Past issues of Point Lookout are available in six ebooks:

• Get 2001-2 in Geese Don't Land on Twigs (PDF, )
• Get 2003-4 in Why Dogs Wag (PDF, )
• Get 2005-6 in Loopy Things We Do (PDF, )
• Get 2007-8 in Things We Believe That Maybe Aren't So True (PDF, )
• Get 2009-10 in The Questions Not Asked (PDF, )
• Get all of the first twelve years (2001-2012) in The Collected Issues of Point Lookout (PDF, )

Are you a writer, editor or publisher on deadline? Are you looking for an article that will get people talking and get compliments flying your way? You can have 500-1000 words in your inbox in one hour. License any article from this Web site. More info