
The reverse side of the U.S. quarter dollar coin issued in 2000, honoring the state of New Hampshire. The image depicts a rock formation on Cannon Mountain that was known as "The Old Man in the Mountain." It collapsed sometime between May 1 and May 3, 2003. The date is a bit uncertain because the mountain was shrouded in clouds and fog on the days before May 3.
The formation collapsed as a result of water penetrating its crevices and repeatedly freezing and thawing. Eventually, this weakened the structure, and it collapsed of its own weight. Something similar often happens at work, because the incompetent and corrupt eventually destroy themselves with very little assistance from others. Sometimes, though, the process takes longer than subordinates would like, and this might be the source of the urge to undermine the boss. Photo by U.S. Mint courtesy WikiMedia.
Recently I wrote a piece about how to undermine your subordinates. It ended with a facetious comment about my forthcoming article on undermining your boss, which I had no plans ever to write. But I've had so many requests from readers (some of them obviously desperate) that I was compelled to write what you're about to read.
But I've learned my lesson, so here's a facetiousness warning: almost none of the following is serious.
The First Principle of Undermining Your Boss is: Don't Get Caught At It. No, wait, that's the Second Principle. The First principle is: Do Not Ever Do It. Ever. It should be obvious why not, but here's the reason: Your Boss Can Get or Already Has Much More Powerful Tools for Revenge Than You Do.
OK. Now we have that out of the way. Here's how to do it.
- There's only one reason to undermine your boss
- Some people hope they can get their bosses transferred or terminated, or even take over their boss's job. These outcomes are extremely unlikely, because every incompetent boss who somehow stays employed has a supervisor who wants it that way — or who is just as incompetent.
- Fixing things is a fantasy. The only reason to even try to undermine your boss is Ecstatic Enjoyment. Oh, and maybe sometimes Revenge.
- At the right time, do nothing
- When you notice something happening that you could help with, don't. Pretend you didn't notice it. Go to lunch. Whistle a merry tune.
- Of course, if your boss asks you to assist, that's completely different. But since your goal is undermining your boss, requests for assistance always present delicious possibilities.
- Get help from Human Resources
- When it comes to undermining your boss, HumanNothing juicy in Human Resources
is ever really confidential
for very long Resources can work magic. But they need a reason. Ask for a confidential counseling session. Confidentiality might seem to be counterproductive here, but remember: nothing juicy in Human Resources is ever really confidential for very long. - In the session, ask in a solemn tone, "If someone knows of something unethical going on, are they obligated to report it?" Ignore the answer. It's asking the question that counts. If that doesn't get HR going, then ask, "If someone wants to report something unethical, how can I do that anonymously?"
- Be publicly supportive in useless ways
- In public, always support your boss. Since undermining is your actual goal, you don't want to be on the list of suspects when they try to figure out who could have said or done whatever was said or done.
- But don't go overboard. Don't actually do anything that would help. If your co-workers all hate you, then your public stance is working. You're safe. From your boss, that is — from your co-workers, maybe not.
If you do any of this, be ready at a moment's notice to start a job search. Even better: skip over all of it and start a job search now. Top
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Related articles
More articles on Workplace Politics:
Obstructionist Tactics: I
- Teams and groups depend for their success on highly effective cooperation between their members. If
even one person is unable or unwilling to cooperate, the team's performance is limited. What tactics
do obstructors use?
The Knowledge One-Upmanship Game
- The Knowledge One-Upmanship Game is a pattern of group behavior in the form of a contest to determine
which player knows the most arcane fact. It can seem like innocent fun, but it can disrupt a team's
ability to collaborate.
Incompetence: Traps and Snares
- Sometimes people judge as incompetent colleagues who are unprepared to carry out their responsibilities.
Some of these "incompetents" are trapped or ensnared in incompetence, unable to acquire the
ability to do their jobs.
An Introduction to Workplace Ostracism
- We say that a person has been ostracized from a group when that person is ignored by the members of
that group or excluded from participating in that group's activities, and when we might otherwise expect
that person to be a member. Workplace ostracism can have expensive consequences for the enterprise.
Off-Putting and Conversational Narcissism at Work: II
- Having off-putting interactions is one of four themes of conversational narcissism. Here are five behavioral
patterns that relate to off-putting interactions and how abusers employ them to distract conversation
participants from the matter at hand.
See also Workplace Politics and Workplace Politics for more related articles.
Forthcoming issues of Point Lookout
Coming April 30: On Planning in Plan-Hostile Environments: II
- When we finally execute plans, we encounter obstacles. So we find workarounds or adjust the plans. But there are times when nothing we try gets us back on track. When this happens for nearly every plan, we might be working in a plan-hostile environment. Available here and by RSS on April 30.
And on May 7: Subject Matter Bullying
- Most workplace bullying tactics have analogs in the schoolyard — isolation, physical attacks, name-calling, and rumor-mongering are common examples. Subject matter bullying might be an exception, because it requires expertise in a sophisticated knowledge domain. And that's where trouble begins. Available here and by RSS on May 7.
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Beware any resource that speaks of "winning" at workplace politics or "defeating" it. You can benefit or not, but there is no score-keeping, and it isn't a game.
- Wikipedia has a nice article with a list of additional resources
- Some public libraries offer collections. Here's an example from Saskatoon.
- Check my own links collection
- LinkedIn's Office Politics discussion group